Drink-Thirty. A few bars to peruse.
Recently went through the July issue of Outside Magazine which, you should know, is a killer read. Orcas attacking their trainers, Lance getting ready to pedal again, and a collection of stories on why moving water (yea, rivers) are worth revamping and protecting.
In addition, Outside provided a guide on watering holes. I was especially interested in this matter as I’m exceptionally experienced in this subject, at least through the Pacific Northwest and the West.
Overall, Outside covered 38 prime drinking spots, only six of which I’ve visited. Whoa, are you kidding? So, what did they get right and what did they miss? Here’s my take, for what it’s worth.
HITS
Salty Dawg, Homer, Alaska
Outside got it right. This is a classic drinking establishment and I’m sure the evenings are something to see. I’ve only visited during daylight hours and the first time I did so some dude was staring out the window at me and a couple friends as we exited the rig.
The Salty Dog in Homer.
He moved his face closer to the window and stuck his tongue out to touch the glass and then lapped the thing around. I was getting really uncomfortable with his shit-eating grin and that damned tongue when I noticed that a giant fly was walking on the outside of the glass. That’s what he was doing; painting a portrait of insanity by making like he was eating that fly!
We waltzed in and I shook the dude’s hand. We bought him a round and that’s when we decided we’d landed on a true freak. “I can get you anything you want,” he said. “In 15 minutes.”
“I’m cool, dude,” I replied, “I’ve got a job interview in a half-hour.” This was about our third stop on a drive down from Soldotna where we’d closed another bar at 6 a.m.
“Ok, well here’s my card,” he said. And out the door he went.
The Salty Dawg is a tourist trap for sure, but it’s also really cool place to check out if you’re in Homer.
Claim Jumper Saloon, Ennis, Montana
Ah, a hometown drinking hole for me. I live about 75 yards from the Claimjumper’s front door and even when I’m not there I can hear what’s going on while resting in bed, reading on summer evenings with the window open.
I was single when I moved to Ennis and I remember thinking, What are the locals complaining about? There are options galore here. And I still believe that. A summer night, with people driving over from Bozeman to fish, and with tourists headed to Yellowstone, and with a bevy of local character, there’s no downtime. The owners, Brad and Kelly Dilorio, are equally entertaining, Brad being a fun-loving, major presence at the bar. He’s a big, bald dude who you can’t miss and he makes a trip to the Jumper worth your time. He also make you pay if there’s a ruckus. And there often is; one time I was talking up a cutie and all of a sudden some dude landed headfirst on my Doc Martin kicks. I looked to my left and saw Brad with a stranglehold on a dude. True western bar here so keep you smartass in check if you value your teeth.