Karaoke and Chromers on Idaho’s Clearwater
I can say this with certainty: if you want to hit the steelhead early in the morning don’t visit the Oasis or the Clearwater Club in Orofino, Idaho, especially if you see some revved up youngsters heading down the path of prescription-laced personal destruction, right off the shuffleboard table no less.
I didn’t have that bit of advice so I found myself thoroughly entrenched in the scene, conducting my own example of a personal beatdown via shots of something brown, all washed down with PBR’s and R-Dogs. Next thing, I’m on stage singing, “Oh, keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel,” …with a busty, blonde vixen at my side.
“Where did you come from,” I asked and she answered, “Transylvania.”
Idaho's broad Clearwater.
This was all fine and dandy in the old days, but now I have a wife and kids and this was just the kind of little home-wrecker I have to watch out for these days. She snuggled up to my side and joined in the lyrics but I blew her off the stage when I broke into Morrison’s killer improvised soliloquy and belted out, “ba ba ba be bop aloola conk conk a chi na na ee sawnk sawnk ah chi chi and that all pop a chink a chaw a con na na na na la la la, my be bop bee conk conk conk caw, caw ca not your mamma…”
It wasn’t perfect, but I got the desired result; the vampire looked confusedly at the TelePrompTer, said, “What are you doing?” and waltzed off the stage as if I were the greatest freak in the room, which would have been saying a lot, a lot, a lot, Rodney.
A nice one from the Clearwater.
Singing done, I took my seat at the bar right in time for the cops to waltz in and throw down the native woman sitting next to me. Amid a shower of curses, with cell phone cameras a’glare (we’ll get you you sons-of-bitches), the cops wrestled the wreathing mass out the door and all went back to normal. Or as normal as it got that night. I remember waking the next morning, partially disgusted with myself for having partaken in karaoke for the second embarrassing time in my life, but mostly for having missed the first two hours of Clearwater light, golden hours for steelhead.
No worries, really. There are so many steelhead filling up the Columbia Basin fisheries this year, including Idaho’s Clearwater River, that anyone has a chance to hook up whether you get out of bed early or not. Case in point: late that day, floating the river with two buds from Missoula, Jayme Goodwin and Jim Nave, Goodwin hooked up on a six or seven-pound A-run. After a brief shoreside celebration (whip it good) Nave pulled oars upstream and we made a second pass through the drift. And Goodwin, spewing major karma about the just landed fish, tagged another, this time a B-run buck, maybe a 15-pound fish. More celebration and then a long pull through deadwater to the takeout, where we picked up from the night before and trod into Orofino for more late night shenanagins. Last things I remember from that night was that blonde girl’s foot in my friend, Dan’s, face and my spirited bout with a taxi driver about the merit of his rig and his fees.
The afterglow.
The following day I peered off one of the Clearwater’s numerous bridges and found a full pod of steelhead staring back. After a brief panic attack I had a rod strung and was dead-drifting nymphs in front of those critical slabs, with friends on the bridge spotting. Somewhere in the middle of, say, 30 casts, they shouted “He took it,” but I never saw the indicator drop and never felt a bit of tension. Five minutes later they made the same claim and again I felt nothing. On the third eat I had the hook set before I heard their words, but the fish ran hard, while I failed miserably and placed too much tension on the rod and leader. It parted somewhere above the knot, probably where I’d nicked it on a rock or wound it into a wind knot, courtesy of my dizzy morning state.
What I’m getting at is this: if you haven’t fished steelhead, or if you’re a steelhead connoisseur, now’s the time to hit the Columbia River tributaries. In Idaho try the Clearwater and Salmon rivers. On the Clearwater you should find good numbers of fish from Lewiston all the way to Kooskia. In addition, you’ll probably find some fish in the South Fork. That’s an attractive option if you’re not into the spey game. But do yourself a favor and throw spey on the main river. I still regret not having tied on a skater and given that pod a whirl with the two-hand stick and a skater. Fuzzy head, I tell you. If you’re not in the Idaho area, look at Washington’s Klickitat, Methow, Wenatchee or Ronde. In Oregon, throw the smack-down on some Deschutes or John Day river fish.
What You Need
3 Day Idaho Steelhead license
Quality spey rod with floating lines and sink tips
Good leaders tapered to 10 or 12-pound test
Lightweight, breathable chest waders
Gloves and a stocking hat
Quality wading boots with studs
Egg Sucking Leeches and skaters
48 PBRs
Flask of Crown